I was out working with a client one day and her goal of the session was for her to develop some more confidence in herself and her place in the world. She worked with a couple of horses and couldn't exactly find her place in the social group. She was nervous to open up and be vulnerable with the hor
ses and really see where she fit. We had a deep conversation about owning who she was and being confident entering new groups and new things in general. We don't have to adapt ourselves to fit into a group. We can be our authentic self and the group can adapt to who you are. The horses actually feel safer when we are not hiding anything. This hit her hard. As a parent, she realized that she requested that her children be open to try new things and make new friends, yet she was subconsciously unwilling to do that exact thing.
Trying new things doesn't mean we have to be like Will Ferrell in the Elf movie and try every little thing even gum under the seat. Haha. BUT if you are wanting to grow.. are you willing to do the work? Are you willing to be vulnerable and try new things that you never thought you would do to promote growth.
If I'm obsessed about anything it is growth. Growth personally, professionally, financially, emotionally, physically. You name it I want to push the boundaries. Now with that being said, just because I love growth doesn't mean I am always comfortable. The picture in my head that always comes to mind is of me cliff jumping. I hate heights. They make me freeze. They make me sick. They make my brain mush.
This experience was one I set myself up for. I decided to go paddle boarding at a reservoir famous for cliff jumping. My husband is not afraid of heights and he loves to watch me push limits. I had made up my mind before we got there that I would jump off a cliff. As we got out on the water my stomach started to twist and turn as I watched people jump off insane cliffs. Nevertheless, we went to find a cliff to jump off of.
Here is my strategy A) tell someone about what my plan is to hold me accountable for what I said I was going to do. I don't like to break my word, so sometimes this is enough for me. B) I amp myself up (positive self talk to the max) and get too far to where I can't back down. I knew that if I was barefoot and climbed up the most difficult rock I wouldn't be able to climb back down. The only solution would be to jump off. Jumping off actually sounded better than climbing down. THEN I had people watching me stand up there frozen. This could you doing something you've only dreamed about and you know it won't be graceful. You may freeze. You may mess up, BUT as I was standing on that cliff frozen and questioning my life choices people began gathering and cheering me on and told me I could do it because they saw that I had pushed myself to be there. I jumped. It was a rush. I lived. I jumped again. It was a rush. I lived. The jumping was always a rush, but the lag time between climbing and jumping shortened.
Why the beans am I telling you this? Because of course things are going to be scary for the first time. You have never tread in waters quite like these. That's the excitement of growth. You didn't know you could do it because you never tried! Does that make it wrong? Not necessarily. Is it going to get you to your goal? Is it going to help you grow? If you answered yes to either of those then jump! Jump in to your next venture. Jump in to playing an active role in your marriage. Jump in to taking control of your health and fitness. You may not always have a cheering crowd. Or have such a quick reward, but take accountability for the things you have control or contribution to. You may be surprised where it leads you.
AND if you are a parent never underestimate the famous words "your actions speak so loudly, I can not hear what you are saying." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
IF we want your children to be courageous, independent, healthy, emotionally resilient etc, then we most certainly have to be working on those things or have them figured out ourselves. This is where my passion for growth meets action. My kids. I don't always want to work, be healthy, say kind things, control my emotions, serve etc.. BUT they are watching me. That's my - I can't give up or back down- My kids. What's yours?