What perceptions do you have that are creating a reality you no longer want to experience? The reason I ask is because we had a private client that had an experience I wanted to share. We will call her Wanda for her privacy. The backstory is that she wanted more connection in her relationship. The purpose of the exercise we created for her was to be curious to understand instead of allowing judgment to creep in which enables feelings of resentment. We wanted to create something that allowed for connection and understanding instead. She was asked to use a rope to drive the horse around the round pen. A simple activity, but the horse had some awesome lessons to teach us. With being patient and curious in mind we began the activity. It didn't take much to get the horse going. He was very sensitive to her energy. As she planted her feet which was asking him to do the same and come into her. He continued trotting and then loping around the round pen after she had stopped her feet. There are so many interpretations we could've drawn from this behavior, but Wanda's interpretation is the most important. The perceptions that followed gave clarity into her marriage. You may be thinking I am crazy that this could relate so much, but wait! She started explaining her interpretations that went something like this, "he doesn't like me, he doesn't want to be with me, he doesn't trust me." The list went on, but I will stop there. We discussed how this perception related to her reality in her marriage. Guess what she said? You probably guessed it. Wanda shared that it resembled her feelings and experiences in her marriage almost exactly. Woah. Then we could get to work to change her perception which ultimately had the opportunity to change her reality.
She was asked to be curious. Not draw conclusions and shut down, but seek to truly understand. Emotional connection was the goal, but that wasn't comfortable for him or even her at the time. Curiosity began. What did the horse need from her? Understanding? Empathy? Safety? We gave it to him by no longer driving him with the energy of our bodies. He loped around us for a couple of minutes and then went to get some water. At that moment he allowed us to come just a touch closer, so she did. We did this SEVERAL times before he turned and came right into her for connection. Her old perceptions were the reality of what unfolded in the round pen in the beginning with the horse and ultimately with her spouse. As she worked to toss aside those perceptions which is where the real work is for most people. Letting go of old perceptions that is their reality. It's hard hard work for most people and sometimes takes a session or two, BUT a session or two to change your perception to ultimately change your reality in your intimate relationship... is WORTH the work!