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Find Your Purpose...

Updated: Jan 4, 2021

I woke up this morning with a gasp (the next part is quite graphic, so please stop reading if you are triggered by death in any way). My gasp came from me being awakened from a frightening dream with a glimmer of hope. What I saw so vividly and realistically was a woman face down in a huge tub of water with her feet through one of the bars which forced her to stay down in the water. The water had some blood in it and I had no idea if I was too late or not.

Rewind the dream a little, I was at a remote event and had found a phone. I asked around and I could not find the owner. I decided to call the contact named "mom" to find the name of the person that owned it. What came next was alarming, she answered calling out a name. I told her that I was actually trying to find the owner of the phone. She responded that her daughter had been missing for a couple of months and she feared for her daughter and her mental health. I explained where I had found her phone and she knew what the event was and a family friend was there. She was relieved that her daughter was alive and safe, but she knew she probably wouldn't want to be found. I told her I would proceed with caution and try to find her. I was going to approach the family friend at the event first and ask her if she knew about the girl. Instead, the mother's description of her daughter was clear enough that as I walked back inside I saw her briskly walk from one room to another on a balcony hallway. I approached her and let her know that I may have found her phone. She was grateful and I invited her to our next group event. Surprisingly she came. Somehow we started talking about her story. She explained that she didn't want to live anymore. That she saw no purpose. We talked about a higher power for quite some time for the purpose of her being needed here. She thanked us for our conversation and left. She had gone to her room and I had a very alarming feeling a little bit later that led me in a sprint to her room which is where I found her in the tub. I quickly jumped in and got her feet out and picked her up. She was turning blue, limp and bleeding. She started choking out water and I felt a wave of relief, but she did not. She was flailing and angry. I had to hold her tightly in my arms until she calmed down as I yelled to some other girls to drain the tub. This story is overwhelming and feels like quite the task to save someone that doesn't want to be saved. I don't know who specifically this girl was, but she can represent many of us that don't see our purpose (at the moment).