I feel grounded, present, self aware and at peace when I am in the middle of the herd or in the presence of one of our horses. They have a way of healing us whether we give them permission to or not. We don't have to bare our soul or tell our deepest darkest secrets. Although, if we do feel we need to share, they are the best secret keepers. The vulnerability we feel with horses expedites our personal growth and healing. It's hard to explain, but a profound experience. I am blown away by the experiences people continue to have that are so unique to their needs and growth. Our programs have agendas, but horses have their own as well. Regardless of what activity we have planned they still accomplish their agenda. Their agenda is understanding you. They want to know you, to see you, to feel you, to be with you and to help heal you. This goes back to my very first experience with healing and horses.
I was at a camp for girls who had experienced trauma and they had some incredible activities there to help you heal and move forward, but nothing quite as impressionable as my experience with the horse. I don't remember it's name or what it even looked like, but the feeling I felt puts me back in time like it was yesterday. I was asked to write down my trauma story. Whatever that was, looked like and meant to me. I had never written down or said it out loud in public before. I was asked to
go out into a round pen with one horse. That horse was on the other side of the round pen feeling equally as terrified as I was. I approached the center of the round pen where no one else could hear what I was about to read off. I began reading my card out loud and as intense feelings and emotions washed over me as I admitted what I had experienced and how it had affected me I was in tears. It seemed like an eternity reading my trauma story, but as soon as I looked up from that card through my tear filled eyes I saw the horse. The horse was standing right next to me, his head low as if he felt the heaviness of my trauma and he just stood there. He stayed with me. I had never felt that much understanding and acceptance on that deep of a level EVER. A piece of me was healed just in his willingness to listen and try to bring me comfort with his presence. I will never forget that day or the impact that horses can have on us IF we are open and allow them to help us heal.
No one is ever too broken for God or horses. We have to let go of our previous identity if we are hoping to grow and change.